


It Only Happened Once

by ShadeofGreen



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Crack, Gen, Illness, Vomiting, cursing, offscreen tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:33:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeofGreen/pseuds/ShadeofGreen
Summary: Step One: First, peel the ginger. Then, place the chicken in a large pot with cold water to cover by a couple of inches. Bring to a boil over high heat, skimming off any foam. Season with salt, peppercorns, ginger, garlic and bay leaf.“This is several steps in one. Who wrote this?”





	It Only Happened Once

**Author's Note:**

> I was in the mood to write a crack fic. This is the result. The recipe used in the fic is right here (I hope I don't get in trouble for linking it):  
> https://eatsmarter.com/recipes/chicken-noodle-soup-7
> 
> Please excuse any spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes, and ooc-ness (from Goro's side. Shido is legit out of character). While I personally wrote this fic as pre-game, you can imagine it as happening in the game if you want. Also, before anyone judge me, the relationship tag is needed because the fic does explore it, just in a cracky, bizarre way.

Goro first realized his cold wasn’t a cold when his cough didn’t disappear within the next few days. Not long after that, the teenager was soon having coughing fits that ended with him hacking up phlegm. After that came the sneezing and stuffy nose. It was a good thing Goro brought tissue packets to take along with him, or else he would have to ask nearby people if they had any on hand.

(There was no way Goro would want to ask Shido for one. That is mostly in part to not appear vulnerable, as his usefulness will be in jeopardy. Goro worked too long and hard for his plan to fail because of some illness. It was worth risking several days of rest and taking medicine to keep up appearances.)

“AH-COO!”

Goro quickly pulled out another tissue from his pocket, and blew his nose into it. Sooner afterwards, the teenager made a hacking sound from his throat. He then pulled out another tissue from his pocket, and coughed damn phlegm into it. It was a sickly light green. It reminded him of one of his jackets.

“…Are you okay?”

Oh right. He was in a meeting with Shido.

Goro gave a small nod, and rubbed the temple of his head. His headache from the last several days wasn’t gone either, only made worse due to the lack of sleep.

“I’m fine. It’s just a small cold. Don’t worry about me. It’ll be gone before lo-”

Goro didn’t have to chance to finish his sentence; he collapsed right then and there on the floor.

\---

Now, this is what _should_ have happened:

Masayoshi Shido would have left the teenager right then and there. Shido would then tell his secretary he was going out, and he would have advised her to take a break in the meantime. The office door would be unlock, as Akechi needed a way out of his office.

(His secretary, while suspecting something, did not know of Akechi’s existence. Then again, it’s not like most people knew Shido has a son.)

This is what _actually_ happened:

~~~

After making sure his secretary was truly out, Shido half dragging/half forcing the unconscious teenager out of his office. Akechi’s breathing was low, and it honestly gave Shido a small scare. Shido ended up slapping Akechi’s face several times in a row to get a reaction.

There was nothing. This was not good at all. Shido wasn’t going to let some illness take away his ticket to prime minister.

“If you’re still alive, say something.”

“urag…”

“I’ll take it as a yes.”

\---

Search: Chicken Noodle Soup

_The picture’s too unappealing… This vegetable is not in the refrigerator… Here we go._

Preparation Time: Two Hours

_Going by my skills, it will take at least three._

Ingredients: 1 stewing chicken

_What the hell is that?_

Salt

_How much?_

Black peppercorns

_Bought it_

1 bay leaf

_Bought it_

1 piece ginger root

_Bought it_

1 peeled garlic clove

_Got it_

2 onions

_Got it_

4 carrots

_Got it_

2 parnsips

_Got one, somehow. Maybe I should put in another carrot_

50 grams celery root

_Somehow, I got it_

100 grams angel hair pasta

_Noodles will have to do_

4 slices of toast

_Got it_

2 eggs

_Got it_

½ bunch parsley

_Got it_

Pepper

_Got it_

**Step One: First, peel the ginger. Then, place the chicken in a large pot with cold water to cover by a couple of inches. Bring to a boil over high heat, skimming off any foam. Season with salt, peppercorns, ginger, garlic and bay leaf**.

Shido did a double take on what he just read. “This is several steps in one. Who wrote this?”

With a sigh, the man quickly searched the kitchen for a large pot. He ended up finding one hidden in one of the lower cabinets. It was dusty, so the man gave it a quick wash with plain old water. Time is of the essence.

~~~

**Step Two: Rinse the onions, do not-**

Maybe it would be best to break down step two into several steps. Shido was getting a headache of looking at the block of text.

**Step Two: Rinse the onions, do not peel, and cut into quarters.**

“Son of a bitch!” Shido dropped the knife on the cutting board. He just accidentally cut his index finger.

~~~

**Step Three: Peel the carrots, parsnip and celery root. Set aside a carrot, and cut the remaining vegetables into pieces and add to the pot with the chicken.**

The man remembered one time in his youth, when his mother asked him to peel a few carrots for fried rice. It took him almost an hour to do so. Luckily for him, as an adult, it only took half the time. Shido was much better at the cutting.

~~~

**Step Four: Simmer partially covered over low heat until the chicken is cooked through, about 1 1/4 hours. Lift the chicken from the soup, pour the broth through a sieve and degrease if necessary.**

“Urg…I want to die.”

Akechi’s head was leaning in the toilet. A little after Shido turned the stove onto low heat, Akechi woke up from his sleep and ran to the bathroom, his gloveless hand covering his mouth. Normally, most people would have left the puker by themselves because let’s face it, seeing someone vomit (or just vomit in general) is disgusting.

For reasons Shido can’t fathom, the man took concern and went into the bathroom. Not sure what to do, Shido patted the teenager’s back.

“Hurry up and puke. I don’t have all day.”

~~~

**Step Five: Remove the chicken skin and bones and very finely chop 200 grams of the chicken or push through a meat grinder. Transfer to a bowl.**

After washing his hands with soap twice, Shido tackled the first half of the fifth step. Frankly, it part was going to be messy like one of Akechi’s assassinations. The second half of the fifth step was definitely a challenge.

“Meat grinder, meat grinder,” muttered Shido, “where are you?”

The man searched high and low in case he overlooked it during the search for the pot. “Akechi doesn’t have one. I guess I have to use a knife.”

~~~

**Step Six: Finely chop the bread.**

“It didn’t say how long to toast the bread.”

Shido walked out of the kitchen and open the door to Akechi’s messy bedroom (the man resisted the urge to clean it. He was anal about cleanliness.). The teenager was curled up into a ball, wrapped up in layers of warm blankets all while moaning in pain. Near the bed was a trash can with a plastic bag with newspapers.

“Akechi, how do you like your toast? Lightly toast, or burn all the way?”

“Do whatever you want.”

“Burn all the way then.”

~~~

**Step Seven: Rinse the parsley, shake dry and chop finely.**

Somehow, Shido was successfully able to rinse the parsley, shake it dry, and chop it finely without fail. Or needing to interact with Akechi more than he wanted to.

~~~

**Step Eight: Add the bread, parsley and eggs to the chicken. Season with salt and pepper and process everything until well combined.**

Shido wasn’t sure why Akechi had clear plastic gloves sitting in one the kitchen drawers, but the man was glad they were there. There was no way he was going to combine the ingredients together with his bare hands.

“This is absolutely disgusting.”

~~~

**Step Nine: Shape the chicken mixture into 2 cm dumplings, drop into the gently simmering broth and cook until the dumplings rise to the surface and are set, about 15 minutes.**

_Eyeballing 2 cm dumplings was much harder than I thought. They all came out looking wonderful though._

With delicate care, Shido dropped the dumplings into the broth, one by one.

~~~

**Step Ten: Add the pasta and carrots to the broth and serve.**

Shido picked up the extra carrot set aside from step three.

“They actually want me to put in the whole carrot?”

\---

Sitting on Goro’s lap was a tray of steaming hot soup. Actually, it was just hot soup. No, that was false as well. It was lukewarm soup. On the left side of the soup bowl was a napkin folded into a triangle. On the napkin are a spoon and whole carrot. Sitting on the right side of the bowl was a hot cup of tea. Actually, it was just a cup of tea. No, that too was a lie. It was just a cup of water with what appear to be lemon seeds. Maybe it was lemon favor water.

“You actually made me soup. I thought I was delirious early on and dreamt it up.”

“It wasn’t a dream. Since I was the one to take you home, I figure I should make you something to eat when you wake up. I honestly expected someone like you to take care of their health. You better not get sick in the future. I’m not going to do this again.”

“I’ll keep it in mind. Thank you for being concern.”

Goro picked up the spoon, and dip it into the soup. He wanted to get a few dumplings onto it. After doing so, Goro then lifted it near his lips, and puts it into his into his mouth.

“Aren’t you going to comment on it or not?”

Setting the spoon down onto the napkin, Goro picked up the whole carrot and took a bite from it.


End file.
